 | | In today's edition, Joe shares: - Why real rites of passage still matter
- How Barney Ryder swam the Channel (and Dubai) to prove it
- The one question you should ask yourself NOW
| | Spartans!
Most people wouldn't try to swim the English Channel. Most 17-year-olds never even think about it. But my pal Barney Ryder isn't most people.
A Young Man Who Chose Hard Barney is a young British swimmer I recently had the honor of interviewing on my Spartan Hard Way podcast. He's exactly what happens when someone chooses hard on purpose. In 2023, he trained for many months to swim the Channel solo. He gained 20 kilos in fat just to survive the bitter cold. In under ten hours, he crossed 25 miles of freezing, jellyfish-filled water. Fewer people have swum the English Channel than have stood on the summit of Everest.
He didn't do it for bragging rights. He did it to raise more than $13,000 for MANUP?, a charity supporting men's mental health. And when he was done, he didn't sit back. This year he went on to complete a solo 25-kilometer swim across the waters beside Dubai, in brutal heat and salt, in just over six hours. Barney knows how to suffer. But more than that, he knows why it matters.
Why Rites of Passage Matter When I speak with business leaders, defense departments, and top educators around the world, I keep hearing back to the same thing: our kids are soft because our culture is soft. We've lost real rites of passage. There was a time when becoming an adult meant facing something that could break you — a hunt, a mountain, a fast, a vigil. Today, it's more likely to be a phone screen and an algorithm telling you you're not enough.
When I was growing up in Queens, my rite of passage was just surviving the block. Fences to climb, fists to dodge, people to prove yourself to. It wasn't glamorous, but I learned fast who I was.
Barney proves it doesn't have to be that way. He shows that struggle, by choice, is how you find out what you're really made of. It's why we run a kids' Camp Spartan every year on our farm in Vermont, where we push kids way beyond the comfort zones they're used to at home. This transformative experience offers seven days of intense workouts, endurance training, and team-building activities, all led by U.S. Military Veterans, Spartan Staff, top personal trainers, and professional counselors. We just finished one last week.
Where Do You Stand? It's just another reason why at Spartan we build relationships with places that still understand what discipline means: Norwich, West Point, and the SEALs. These are the new rites of passage, because kids need them, and so do we.
Epictetus said, "Difficulties show a man's character." Barney didn't just swim the Channel and Dubai to test himself, he's launching a brand to help other young people take on wild swims and brutal challenges. He wants a whole community that knows how to suffer with purpose. Spartan will be right beside him, because what he's doing in water is exactly what we've always done on land: help people realize they're stronger than they think.
If you're a parent, a coach, or just someone wondering where the toughness went, look at Barney. He's lighting the torch. We're laying down the road. The hard way is our rite of passage. The only question left is: what's your rite of passage?
Hurry up,
Joe | | | SOFT OR HARD | When I was a kid running my pool business in Queens, I hired neighborhood kids to help. Most had never done a real day's work. Some never showed up, some couldn't get out of bed, and some quit the second it got hard. They learned fast - or they didn't. It was my first lesson in how softness is a choice. Show up every day, work hard when you don't want to, or get left behind. That's how you earn trust, and be harder to kill.
More stories: The Spartan Way by Joe De Sena. | | | You Ask, Joe Answers | Q: "Joe, what's one thing you wish more parents understood?"
- Liam P.
A: Struggling isn't punishment, it's how kids grow stronger. If you protect them from every hard thing, you're not saving them, you're hurting them. Let them fail, get cold, tired, and hungry. That's how they build a backbone of grit.
Aroo!
Question for Joe? Want to tell him what you think of The Hard Way? Email him at thehardway@spartan.com. | | | | How to swim 34km through freezing water with no wetsuit |  | | CLICK TO SHARE | | | They Said It | | "It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor." | | – Seneca | | | ➝The Hard Way Podcast with Joe | | | This Teen Takes on Brutal Swim to Prove Struggle Heals | | | What happens when a 17-year-old signs up to swim 34km across freezing water? Barney Ryder joins Joe De Sena to share how choosing discomfort, facing failure, and embracing the cold shaped his mind more than any victory ever could. | | | | | | ➝Watch The Latest Hard Way Video | | | Spartan's Sacred Ground | | Sparta, Greece—sacred ground for the Spartan brand and home of the 2019 Trifecta World Championship—brought together thousands of athletes from around the world to tackle Sprint, Super, and Beast in one unforgettable weekend. But beyond the course and culture, it was the stories, the grit, and the collective energy that made this more than a race. It was a movement. | | | | | | To keep receiving this newsletter, sign up here. | | | WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS NEWSLETTER? | | | | | |
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